*Deep breath* Okay, I’m ready…

My blog has been getting a lot of hits lately and I’m assuming it’s because people are interested in how I’m going to respond to the passing of Prop 8.

I took a day to let it sink in for a reason. It hit me hard. I went from being utterly pissed and wanting to punch a wall (and a Mormon) to completely devastated. After a day passed and I still saw my wife next to me, I got over being knocked down and decided to get my ass up. I now have the desire to act.

The passing of this proposition is wrong for so many reasons, the greatest being that it’s supposed to be a free country. The separation of church and state presumably protects from religious oppression.

My wife and I laughed the other morning because of the evolution I went through over the last 7 months. It was only May when the Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to keep gay couples from getting married. While she was ecstatic and wanted to do it official as soon as possible, my initial reaction was, “F that, I don’t need any government institution to tell me that they recognize my marriage.” In the end, after thinking about those people who’ve fought for me to even have the right and my close friends who are still not comfortable being themselves, we decided to do it.

It’s been four months now since we’ve gotten the piece of paper and you know what? I like it. I like that my relationship is of the same status as every other married couple. My life commitment was true, but going through the legal steps and really doing it did kick it up a notch.

One main argument of same-sex opponents is that marriage is not a right. They claim that Civil Unions allow gay couples the same rights as straight married couples and that we should be happy of what we have and keep it moving. They declare that marriage is a religious-affiliated institution.

Once marriage is recognized by the government, however, it’s not just a religious-affiliated institution. It’s association with the government, therefore, means that everybody should have the right.

I’m disappointed in the people from Arkansas, Arizona, and Florida, but really in my Californians. They really fell for the scare tactic that their children were going to all of a sudden by bombarded with homosexual influences at school. I just can’t believe it. I know that as humans we have a tendency to automatically believe what we hear and in essence, we are sheep, but I expected better.

I’m mostly disappointed, however, in my fellow homosexuals. We blew it, and blew it hard. We need to be better. We need to be better people, better employees, better family members, better friends. Whether you like it or not, the standard for us is higher. Everyone is looking for us to bomb and we are giving them way too much fuel to feed their fire.

Sheltered individuals (aka the middle of the state who killed us in the prop) really believe that we’re perverts, that all we care about is having sex and that we live promiscuous lifestyles. Well, no shit. They see the Pride marches, the sexual provocative shirts, etc… Come on ya’ll, let’s have some poise. Yes, you should be able to be yourself. Yes, in a perfect world, you could wear and act like you want, but stop thinking about yourself and realize how you’re affecting the movement. Be better. Be open and be yourself while at the same time showing some tact.

We called the people who opposed our ideals “hate mongrels,” as if calling people names is going to get them to open their minds and suddenly understand where we’re coming from. If someone calls you a name, are you going to listen to anymore they’re saying while you’re busy lifting up your middle finger?

Bottom line is that we lack a leader. Right now our efforts are all scattered without a common direction. We need somebody to strategize our movement.

We need to learn to play the game. Are we going to go Malcolm X style, rile each other up with emotion and call anybody who is on the other side a devil, only resulting in turning opponents off? Or are we going to follow in Martin Luther King’s footsteps, and actually play the game. In our minds we might be thinking, “you stupid ass homophobic motherfuckers,” but in front of them we need to always be respectful. It’s how you open people’s minds. You wouldn’t go all Rambo in Battleship would you? No, you think about the end goal, make strategic moves, and then act with decisiveness. It makes more sense to have some composure and some strategy to what we do.

So yes, we need a leader. Get Ellen out of your head, because although that woman has been probably the most instrumental in moving us forward as being socially accepted, we need somebody who’s going to be taken seriously; somebody who homosexuals can identify with and yet won’t scare off straight people.

I was so upset with the Prop 8 numbers Tuesday night that I didn’t really get to experience President-elect Obama’s speech. His incredible accomplishment and how he’s able to unite people, however, really does give me hope. Taken from the opening of his acceptance speech, “If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

We may have taken a step back with the prop passing, but it’s only going to make us reorganize, adjust, and come back smarter and stronger.