Thankful Friday… 3/12

Well, as you can see, “Thankful Friday” is back!  After some thinking and receiving passionate feedback about me keeping this blog strictly “professional,” I will continue to write about my own fight to become a professional writer, while also focusing more on providing useful information and links to help you further your own writing development.

Enough about you, let me talk about me now!

I am thankful this week, because:

+ I finished and submitted a single scene for Just Effing’s contest (which I’ll post here tomorrow after the finalists are posted)

+ I started a new intense workout routine with a close friend and so far we’re killing it

+ A new Matt Damon movie came out this weekend.  Granted it looks like Bourne Identity 4, but I could care less.

+ It didn’t rain once this weekend!

+ My cat is starting to use the desk bed I bought him instead of lying across my keyboard while he’s hanging out in the office.  This is HUGE.

Have a great weekend!

Priorities.

As of late, I feel like I’ve been able to get a grip on my daily routine and balance all of the things I expect of myself.  It’s somewhat of a constant battle that I have.  Every morning I start with a to-do list that is way too long and unrealistic.  But, then I focus on what HAS to be done that day and put my energy there.  And somehow, the rest of the not-as-important items seem to get done.

I just focus on this list:

1.  My wife

2.  My friends/family

3.  My health/working out

4.  My writing

5.  Chores/Errands/Neverending bullshit to-do’s

I want to be a professional screenwriter one day, so seeing it down at #4 may seem ridiculous.  However, I’ve had to just accept that I will always put the people important to me above my professional goals. 

And actually, when I tailor my daily schedule in such a way and prioritize my time with that list in mind, I’ve found that my writing is stronger and comes easier because my mind is at peace that the most important aspects are covered.

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One of the “have to” items today is to finish a scene for a short page contest at JustEffing.com.  I unfortunately didn’t see it until this morning and it’s due at the end of the day today, but the winner gets to enroll into Julie Gray’s “Learn The Secrets of Readers” class for free (normally $500).  I’ve been dying to take that class, so I’d be lame sauce if I passed up the opportunity.

If you want to enter the contest, DON’T, because that means more competition.  In all seriousness to those who are interested, it requires a single page scene that uses the words PARAMOUNT, AGENT, and JELLY FISH.  See the full rules, here.

Sundance movies available on YouTube? WOOPEE!

Now this is awesome.  YouTube and the Sundance Film Festival announced today that while the festival is running, the poor little peons who have scheduling conflicts or are just not cool enough to make it to will be able to rent and watch five of the festival’s films from 2009 and 2010 on YouTube.

The videos will be available starting Friday.  It will cost something to view the movies, which will be interesting to see, because the filmmakers get to decide how much to charge for their own film.

Here are the trailors to each of the five movies that will be available for streaming:

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Julie Gray’s having another short single-scene competition.  This one must use the words pear, slay, and thickening.  The scene must be in by Saturday, January 23rd and 9pm PST.  Visit here to see official rules.

Slicing Up a Feature Into Many Shorts…

Like every other screenwriter in the world, I struggle with maintaining a dramatic story throughout an entire feature length script. I typically start off really strong, then have some “stuff” happen in the middle with maybe a few highlights, and then finish back strong again.

My Submission for Kid In The Front Row’s Contest

I apologize for confusing who was running the short script contest. The contest is actually being put on by Kid In The Front Row, not Sofluid. Luckily, I noticed it when going to submit my script this afternoon. Thank you to Kid for running the contest!

Remember that there are some rules and a prompt that was to be followed:
*no more than 5 pages (6 with title page)
*entire script has to take place in one place, the kitchen
*use industry formatting
*three characters: Anna, Mike, Hank
*Anna wants something from Mike, but there’s no way Mike is giving it away

As always, I welcome feedback from anybody and appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Anyway, below is my submission. It is entitled “A Leak In The Kitchen.”

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
No dishes in the sink, no mail on the counters. For God’s sake, the dining table chairs are uniformly straight. This kitchen is spotless–

Except for two dress shoes resting on the linoleum floor.

Directly above the shoes is ANNA (30’s), sitting on the counter, legs dangling from her cocktail dress.

She’s absolutely elated by something on her cell phone.

A text message: LOVED SEEING YOU TONIGHT. LOOKING FORWARD TO BRINGING OUR FAMILY BACK TOGETHER.

She sets the phone down, relaxes back against the cabinets. Happier than she’s been for a long time.

Suddenly, discomfort. She slowly buckles forward, grips at her stomach.

INT. KITCHEN – MORNING
Morning sunlight peeks through a window. A left-open canister of fresh coffee grounds rests on the counter. A coffee maker BREWS.

And for the moment, it’s quiet, until–

ANNA (O.S.)
Mike! No!

MIKE, an enormous bull mastiff dog, barges in full speed.

Right on his tail is Anna in pajamas, frantically chasing.

ANNA (CONT’D)
Mike! Stop!

Mike doesn’t. They do track laps around the kitchen. For his size, Mike has amazing agility.

Anna doesn’t give up. She lunges at Mike, grasps his back leg, pulls him under her.

She climbs on top, pins him down with her body weight. One hand goes to his mouth, attempts to pry it open.

Mike keeps his teeth clinched.

ANNA (CONT’D)
Open up!

Mike breaks free, scurries away– on his way up he SLAMS into the dining table. It tips over, crashes on its side.

Anna’s up quickly, back at the chase. They do another lap together, then Anna stops, out of breath.

ANNA (CONT’D)
(softly)
Come here Mikey… come here cute boy.

Nope.

ANNA (CONT’D)
Come here you stupid dog!

Anna and Mike stand across the kitchen from each other, each waiting for the other to make a move.

Anna does it– sprints at him. Mike dodges! He knocks over the canister, scatters ground coffee across the floor.

Mike hurdles one knocked-over chair. Anna makes one last leap– flies through the air as if attempting to prevent a game winning touchdown.

She belly flops onto the floor, unsuccessful.

Exhausted, she succumbs– relaxes her face down into the coffee grounds.

ANNA (CONT’D)
(fights tears)
Mike, why are you so mean?

Mike, in the opposite corner, does two small circles to the left, one small circle to the right, then plops down.

He doesn’t take his eyes off Anna.

ANNA (CONT’D)
The porch is going to be real comfy for you to sleep on, mutt.

Five year-old HANK shuffles into the kitchen, rubs the sleep from his eyes after just being awaken.

He freezes when he notices the appearance of the kitchen.

Hank looks at Mike, then to Anna, emerged in her coffee bath.

MIKE
Mommy?

Anna takes a deep breath, plays it off.

ANNA
How’d you sleep, sweetie? Ready for breakfast before your daddy gets here?

MIKE
What’s wrong with Mike?

ANNA
Mike lacks social skills. He took something very valuable to mommy. Real happy I forked over half for the lessons you and your father took him to.

Just then, Anna notices the item partly hanging from Mike’s mouth. Before she can respond, Hank’s in Mike’s face.

HANK
Up!

Mike rushes up off the floor.

ANNA
Honey, maybe –

HANK
Sit!

Mike does, very attentive to his master.

ANNA
Hank, wait!

HANK
Drop it!

Mike opens his mouth. A HOME PREGNANCY STICK covered in doggy slobber drops to the floor.

Hank looks down at it, confused. What is it?

Anna snatches it from the floor, covers it from Hank’s view.

ANNA
Thank you.

She hustles over to the kitchen sink, rinses it off.

HANK (O.S.)
Your tummy hurts?

With her attention still on the pregnancy test–

ANNA
I’m sorry, sweetie?

She holds up the stick, examines it. Yep, it’s POSITIVE.

HANK
You have a temperature?

Anna turns to him, bewildered at the results.

A KNOCK at the front door. Hank takes off.

HANK (CONT’D)
Daddy!

ANNA
(to no one in particular)
You know… I don’t really feel good.

Short Scene Contest

One of the things I’m working on today is a short scene (can’t be longer than five pages) for an online contest through Solfluid, a fellow screenwriter.

I just heard about the contest over the weekend, and didn’t get a chance to work on it until today, so with the deadline tomorrow, it’s been a fun challenge for today.

Here are the rules:
*no more than 5 pages (6 with title page)
*entire scene has to take place in one place, the kitchen
*use industry formatting
*three characters: Anna, Mike, Hank
*Anna wants something from Mike, but there’s no way Mike is giving it away

I love having a prompt to follow. I’ll post up my entry tomorrow morning!

CS Open semifinalists announced this morning…

The CS Open website was updated this morning. Congratulations to the fifteen who will be competing this weekend in the final round of the Cyberspace Open.

David Zorn
Doug Peake
Pamela Rodeheaver
David Ivy
Tom Weber
Benjamin Wheelock
Sean Leonard
Matthew Fleck
Kevin Johnson
Karen Veazey
Scott Noack
Mark E. Poole
Cathy Kitinoja
Gillian White
Dan Parkhurst

EDIT: It looks like the minimum score to advance to the finals was 94! The fifteen names above kicked butt. Also, Coverage Ink offered somewhat of an apology for the hiccups that occurred in their first year of running the tournament in an online format.

It would have been fun to have been able to participate in the finals, but it’s time to focus on what’s next… the upcoming Pitch Festival.

I had some breakthroughs with my pitch yesterday. I’m starting to feel confident and comfortable. Tonight I’m going to perform my pitch for my wife, who will be a tougher individual to present it in front of than anybody else ever could be. There will be no sugarcoating in her feedback, which is a good thing because it’ll help me be as prepared as possible.

Received my CS Open round 2 score this morning…

Damn… disappointed.

Total Score–Calculated: [22+21+23+23] = 89

Structure Score: 22 Dialogue Score: 21 Style Score: 23 Originality Score: 23

Judge’s Comments: Great original set up and likable characters, but their reaction to Percy taking the scrunchie seems a tad extreme. It also feels a bit odd that taking a scrunchie would ensure that a player doesn’t play (we’d expect a locker room full of women to have more than one scrunchie!). Despite these issues, Percy’s mea culpa is good and the scene ultimately wins us over. Nice job.

My CS Open round 2 submission…

I was able to finish my scene for round two of the CS Open at around 11 o’clock last night, which is great because I like sleep and it likes me.

I submitted the scene online and also emailed it in as an attachment, so hopefully there won’t be any craziness that unfortunately happened to other writers in round one.

Only ten out of the hundred and thirty finalists will make it to the final round.

Anyway, my submission is below.

Once again, the premise:
Your PROTAGONIST’S allies have turned on him (or her.) His reputation is now in tatters, largely due to his own screw-up — which has been magnified and broadcast by the ANTAGONIST. Write the scene in which the protagonist tries to win the allies back. The scene should include a heartfelt mea culpa. You may use any setting, era or characters in addition to the ones indicated, as needed.

And my scene, entitled “Percy.”

INT. STADIUM RUNWAY/LOCKER ROOM – DAY
It’s somewhat of a miracle that PERCY is able to carry the enormous mist-blower down the stadium runway, but that’s exactly what he does.

He wraps his scrawny arms around it… bear hugs that thing. He may get only inches with each shuffle, but he won’t stop.

A CROWD ERUPTS from O.S.

The cheer causes Percy to pick up his pace. He barely steps into the LOCKER ROOM as FOOTBALL PLAYERS run up from behind.

As the excited Players pass, Percy gets jostled and bumped… he struggles to keep his balance.

The Players CHEER, YELP, and slap each other’s butts… obviously the winning team.

JULES, the biggest one, stops, takes the mist-blower from Percy’s arms, and sets it on the ground next to a few others.

She… that’s right, she, pulls off her helmet and offers Percy a passing smile.

She slaps his butt as if he were one of the girls and then joins her teammates, who continue their celebration near their lockers.

STACY
Knock ‘em down! —

PATRICE
Roll ‘em around! —

TEAM
(in unison)
Come on Falcons, work, work, work!

STACY and PATRICE lead the cheer, but Percy’s eyes linger on Jules… he’s taken, gone… adores that woman.

He grabs a roll-cart and gathers up the players’ laundry… all the time sneaking brief glances at Jules.

With each player he passes, he offers a congratulatory comment-

PERCY
Great blocking Stacy… Heck of an interception “Pat” –

The players love him. Patrice rubs his head and Stacy “chest bumps” him as he passes. He’s awkward, but loves it.

As he approaches Jules, he becomes nervous.

PERCY (CONT’D)
Jules, you —

RICHARD (O.S.)
I want to see you in the ice bath in five, Jules.

The athletic trainer, RICHARD, who knows about the crush, turns to Percy and rolls his eyes.

Richard steps into the center of the crowd of Players… attempts to interrupt the celebration. He throws bags of ice at each of them.

RICHARD (CONT’D)
Stacy, get this on your knee! Patrice — your shoulder!

Stacy grabs Percy, plops him in front of Richard.

STACY
Why can’t you be more like Percy?

RICHARD
You want me to be like an anorexic schoolboy?

STACY
Percy’s the best, right girls?

They return to their cheer, but change the words–

TEAM
(in unison)
Percy! Percy! Percy! Percy!

The entire team goes nuts. Richard looks on, disgusted.

JULES (O.S.)
Hey — heads up!

The Players hush immediately and take a seat. Jules’ “heads up” was a signal that COACH ROLLINGS is approaching.

You wouldn’t be able to tell by his face that the team won… it’s somber, serious. Actually, he looks kind of pissed.

He stops in the front of the team. All eyes are on him. With his melancholy voice —

COACH ROLLINGS
I need you to listen to me closely.

He rubs his forehead, like what he’s about to say is difficult… then his face changes, he cracks a big smile.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
We won!!!

The Players explode with him.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
It was such an incredible team effort… you all worked together!

They CHEER and “high-five.” He’s got them fired up.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
But, I have to point out one player. One of us really stepped up. Not usually a starter–

They know who he’s talking about. Players start rubbing Jules’ shoulders, patting her on the head. She smiles.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
– But with the unfortunate situation with Riley, unable to play because she couldn’t find her lucky purple hair “thingy” —

RILEY (O.S.)
“Scrunchee!”

COACH ROLLINGS
Whatever-

RILEY sits in her pristine, fresh uniform, her hair down. She shrugs her shoulders.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
Jules came in and rocked it!

Coach Rollings hands Jules a football.

COACH ROLLINGS (CONT’D)
Game ball goes to Jules!

TEAM
(in unison)
Jules! Jules! Jules! Jules!

The Players all stand and bounce around. Even Percy gets in on the act now. He jumps around with the Players.

A PURPLE “SCRUNCHEE” falls to the floor amongst the group. Stacy is the one to notice it.

STACY
Hey Riley… your “scrunchee” —

The Players stop cheering, look down at the “scrunchee”…

RILEY
Where’d it come from?

RICHARD
It fell out of Percy’s pocket!

The Players turn, gawk at Percy.

RILEY
Percy, what is he talking about?

JULES
You didn’t, right?

Percy looks up to Jules and then looks away in embarrassment. An admission of guilt.

Stacy picks him up, drops him into his own laundry cart.

Percy stays in the laundry cart and tries to defend himself.

PERCY
I… uh…

PATRICE
How could you do that?

PERCY
But we won —

Richard SNORTS.

RICHARD
You tried to make us lose.

JULES
You really took it?

PERCY
I was gonna’ give it back…

RICHARD
Sounds like backstabbing to me.

JULES
What were you thinking?

Percy really doesn’t get it. He pleads with Jules.

PERCY
But you were twenty for twenty-two in completions… with two touchdowns…

RICHARD
Who are you working for, traitor?

PERCY
I… I didn’t mean to hurt the team. I’m sorry.

Jules’ disappointed look kills him. She turns, walks away.

RICHARD
You deliberately stole the “scrunchee” to sabotage the season!

PERCY
No… it’s just… I didn’t… I love Jules!

Jules turns back, faces him.

PERCY (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. You smile when you get to play. And Coach never gives you the chance. I want you to be happy. I love you.

Not sure about Jules just yet, but Percy has won over the rest of the team. Stacy wipes tears, Patrice hugs another teammate.

Jules approaches him… her intention unclear. A moment, then she pulls him from the cart, wraps her arms around him.

It’s all he’s ever wanted.

TEAM
Ahhhhh…

Percy feels a tap on his shoulder. He looks up to see Coach Rollings in his face.

COACH ROLLINGS
You’re fired.

But Percy doesn’t care. He maintains his embrace with Jules and lowers his head into her… which with their height discrepancy ends up being onto her chest.

THE END
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Thank you for taking the time to read my scene… any feedback is always welcome.

CS Open officially announces quarterfinalists…

It’s the first of October, which means besides rent being due, the second round of the CS Open kicks off tonight. The readers/judges were able to make their way through all of the contestants and they released the list of quarterfinalists early this morning.

The top 100 scorers (which ends up being 130 people because of the writers who tied at the minumum score of 93) are as follows:

Congrats to all of the quarterfinalists!

Especially impressive are the three writers who submitted two scenes that made it to the second round… though I’m not jealous because I don’t think they’re going to be getting any visits from Mr. Sandman tonight.

This evening at five, the names above will receive emails with the prompts of the next scene, and have until nine tomorrow morning to get their scene in. This time there’s a huge cut in writing time, cause writers will have only sixteen hours in round two, versus the first round which allowed for a whole weekend of work.

My wife is taking on the dinner-making duties tonight, as I’ll be working through the evening and probably a little bit of the night.

I’m pretty excited, but trying to not get too worked up. My strategy tonight is to relax with a couple glasses of wine and spend a thorough amount time brainstorming before I even double-click on Final Draft.