* David Weedmark offers 20 surprising facts on happiness based on recent research.

*Analecta, the Official Literary Journal of the University of Texas at Austin published an old short story they found written by Wes Anderson, published in 1989 (thanks to Kat for the heads up on this one).

* Scott Myers at Go Into The Story discusses how to balance writing and family time.

* FCKH8 works to promote civil rights for all.  If you don’t mind the f-bomb, check the video.

* The Back to the Future 25th Anniversary Edition will feature footage of the original Marty McFly, Eric Stoltz, before he was replaced by Michael J. Fox.

* Some important advise from cartoonist Alex Noriega.

What he had to say about the Proposition is even more powerful than the decision itself:

* “Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual. Sexual orientation is fundamental to a person’s identity and is a distinguishing characteristic that defines gays and lesbians as a discrete group. Proponents’ assertion that sexual orientation cannot be defined is contrary to the weight of the evidence.”

* “Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation.”

* “Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions. Like opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples have happy, satisfying relationships and form deep emotional bonds and strong commitments to their partners. Standardized measures of relationship satisfaction, relationship adjustment and love do not differ depending on whether a couple is same-sex or opposite-sex.”

* “Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals.”

* “Same-sex couples receive the same tangible and intangible benefits from marriage that opposite-sex couples receive.”

* “The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships.”

* “Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages.”

An emphatic hi-five to Judge Walker

If you’ve seen the trailer for The Kids Are All Right, you know that Julianne Moore’s character is unfaithful to her wife, which is why I felt comfortable incorporating that bit into my post title.  If you haven’t seen the film yet, however, you may want to wait to read the remainder of my post until you have done so.

__________________________________________________________________________

There has been some uproar amongst lesbian women over how we were portrayed in this summer’s Focus Features film, The Kids Are All Right.  You see, after eighteen years of marriage, Jules, played by Julianne Moore, cheats on her wife.  And not with another woman, but with a man. 

You can see why, when homosexuals are judged on the limited experiences most people use to shape their opinions on gay rights, this would have some lesbo’s throwing their arms up in frustration.

Oh that’s great… we finally make our way into a prominant Hollywood film and the chic representing us feels the immediate need to blow off her family and run off to dick.

But having people sit down to watch this movie and them seeing how Jules succumbs to her marriage strains and sleeps with her male sperm donor is actually a good thing for gay acceptance and here’s why…

About 10 minutes into the movie, we completely forget that we’re watching a lesbian couple.   Instead, we’re absolutely thrown into the drama of a real marriage. 

Jules and Nic, played by Annette Benning, have moved well beyond the thrills of a new relationship.  While there’s no doubt that they love each other, they have lost their spark a bit.  As a result, Jules is absolutely starving to feel loved… dying for someone to make her feel like she’s special again.  Which is why, when she and Mark Ruffalo have an overly energetic fuck, though we’re disappointed… we get it.

Julianne Moore doesn’t keep going back to Mark Ruffalo (who looks amazing, by the way) because he’s a man, but because he makes her feel alive and sexy, something that probably 99.9% of people who have been married for a period of time have found themselves hungry for.

So yes, cheating on your spouse is absolutely wrong.  But if you watch that movie and don’t at least sympathize with Julianne Moore’s character a little bit, then you probably have an unrealistic idea of what making a long term commitment to somebody really entails.

And it’s making those who watch the film empathize with Jules’ character that makes this movie so important.

So lesbians, the movie is a good thing for us.  We don’t want to be portrayed in a fantasy way, like Snow White being awoken by a loving kiss from Princess Cinderella, but as real human beings who experience the same things that straight couples do.  The ups, the downs, the thrills, and the insecurities. 

The movie keeps it real, discussing both the beautiful and difficult elements of being married.  And it’s able to do so with two women.

On a side note, the acting performances in this film are absolutely incredible.  This may be my favorite movie of the year so far.  See the trailer below:

I struggle with supporting the event. I don’t have a problem with people taking a day to let loose, wear only their black leather chaps and party it up. But when the national news covers the event, and we’re fighting to gain respect, acting like you’re eighteen and in Tijuana partying is only detrimental.

In fact, I’ll say it’s downright selfish. I understand that having to suppress yourself on a daily basis is overwhelming, and by the time Pride comes around, you’re ready to explode and express yourself. And really, you should be able to party it up, but unfortunately people in more conservative areas of the country aren’t aware enough to know that this is only a party and you don’t go to Starbucks in the morning wearing white speedos and costumed wings. They are so sheltered that they base everything they know about homosexuals on clips of the parade… and as a result, probably think you go to work and hump your cubicle every day.

And I’m not saying we always play it safe and kiss ass… screw that. Just keep in mind as you put your nipple in some random chic’s mouth this weekend that there’s a gay child in Texas who you’re contributing to what’s going to be a difficult time dealing with their identity because they’re parents associate homosexuality with being a perverted freak.

I will be attending Pride this weekend, and I’m going to drink and have fun just like everybody else. But mostly I’m going to participate in what the event is supposed to be about… to come together as a group, and to encourage, motivate, and remind each other that we’re in this together.

Meet in the Middle 4 Equality was organized and personally paid for by a woman in Fresno who wanted to try and bring the more liberal-minded Northern and Southern California residents to make a positive appearance in the extremely conservative middle of the state.

That part was cool. There were some great speakers at the rally. Lt Daniel Cho was a little firecracker, very intense. After two hours of the same stuff over and over, however, we were starting to crave sitting on our porch with beers.

At one point of the rally, I was standing on a cement bench in the back to get a better look when I happened to glance over. About to make his way through the crowd was oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black.

I didn’t care if I was in only flip-flops, I took off!

I weaved through the people, dodged the other homos, finally reached him and tapped him on the back.

I shook his hand, told him I loved his screenplay for Milk and that I appreciated his acceptance speech. He was very friendly, smiled and thanked me.

Uh, I shook an oscar-winning screenwriter’s hand!

Of course I shook it with the hand I was coughing in all day and have since found out I have bronchitis. Let’s hope he doesn’t get sick.

It’s going to be a typical workday except for one thing.

At 10:00 this morning the California Supreme Court will come back with their decision on Prop 8. I won’t be surprised at whichever way they rule, because after witnessing the voters in California actually choose such a civil rights violation, I won’t be shocked at much.

But, I do have a good feeling. There’s been a lot of time since the hearings, where the judges seemed to have already made their mind made up about respecting the voters’ decisions, despite the fact that they had previously ruled that limiting rights of a minority is unconstitutional. During that time, they can only have thought about it more. Plus, it’s not like they don’t read the papers or watch the news. They know what’s happened in Iowa and Maine, and have seen the ignorance that dribbled out of Miss California’s mouth.

I have a feeling that though part of them feels they need to stand with the voters, they ultimately know it’s wrong and don’t want to be the group that gave their approval for civil rights to be violated.

Despite the feeling, I am definitely on edge this morning. In a couple hours I could actually find out that my wife and I are not married anymore. And no, that won’t make a difference on our relationship or commitment, but it would still hurt like hell.